Its the worst thing:(

Does this always have to happen to me?? Everytime i get a happiness I'll loose it the next day. Why?? Others can get what they want but not me. Why?? Did i do anything wrong until i deserve it this bad?? All i need is the answers to my questions WHY?? My mind is seriously not with me at all. I'm feel like i'm not myself anymore! I want to be myself again!! I really do!! I wanna be the girl that used to be the noisiest girl in class. The girl that laugh the most in a day. The girl that used to love hanging out with her friends and had lots of stories to talk bout. I wanna be myself again. I miss being myself. But i cannot forget you! I need to admit something. I always said that you wasn't the one of the most important thing in my life. But i'm admitting it right now you was and you still are!! Couldn't those 4 months be longer?? I miss you. I miss those times we spent together. Thank you so much for all the happiness you gave me and all the smiles you brought on my face. I wolud never forget the time we spent together. I'll never forget that. You always said that you wouldn't leave me but at the end you still did rite?? You broke your promise! And you brought tears into my eyes. I can never forget that! Everytime i look at you now there would definetly be tears in my eyes. That's how hurt i am. But what would you understand? You'll never understand me. Just get off my mind. Please let me go. Let me go. I cannot focus on anything anymore. I just want to be myself back. I try my best to smile all the time but once i'm home thats it i'm back to the normal life full of tears! I'm trying my best to move on and i wish i can. I just feel like crying and shouting aloud. I really feel like doing that but its no use. It wouldn't lessen the pain in my heart rite?? I hate everything's that going on right now. I just hate it:( Find me a way!!
This was suppose to be private and confidential but it doesn't really matter anymore now!
Thanks for those who actually wasted your time reading my complains!!
I just needed to let everything out so i did.